Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Loneliness of Busy

Have you ever just felt like life is just an on-going movie and someone lost the pause button? I've been thinking about this..well, not this specific analogy, but just how rushed i feel sometimes. Maybe it's just the time in my life that i'm in, or maybe its the demands i place on myself, but i found that for all the things i have on my plate (i.e. school, work, family, band commitments etc..) i find myself occasionally lonely. now this isn't the type of lonely thats like "no one loves me and my  name is Eeyor" this kind of lonely is the type that just hangs out in the background and makes me wish life were simpler.
I have to admit that that most, if not all, of the commitments and time demands i have are completely self-inflicted, however i wonder how i got like this.
As far back as i can remember i've always been the type of person to just stay  busy. In school i did band (drumline on top of that, which usually was more involved), choir, school plays, forensics/debate...and the list could go on and on. In college i had/have a child so i'm constantly balancing family time with school and the ever-important work. I think (and i doubt any red-blooded American would argue with) that America as a whole is so caught up in staying busy that no one looks up from what they're doing to realise that we've lost something.
Now you may be looking around the room. "i think i have my cell phone, car keys, wallet...nope! haven't lost anything". This isn't exactly what i mean. i think God intended us to have "quiet time"; a concept that seems to have disappeared shortly after pre-school. in Mathew 4 as well as several other places (garden of gathseminy and others) in the Bible, Jesus himself found it important to get away from the hectic, noisy crowed to seek solitude and quiet. Now if Jesus felt the need to get away back then when people weren't baraged with a storm of media, expectations and...well, busieness (sp?)...then, i think it's safe to say that today it is all the more important.
Jesus did this not just to have some quiet but to hear from God..his father..our father. This is something i really struggle with and as of late have been trying to do better at. you see, we are so good at doing what is known as "prayers of petition"...we ask God for things all the time (dang, lost my keys again...) this turns the creater of the universe into nothing more than (to borrow the phrase from a book i read) a cosmic vending machine; there to give you whatever you want when you want it as long as you use the right currancy (right prayer, if you will.) I believe in God wanting an authentic relationship with you and I. this means a 2 way street; he wants to hear, but he also wants to talk to us. I've personally taken upon myself as a challenge to try and spend sometime in prayer simply listening to God and i have to say its been an experience that i'd recomend to anyone and everyone. My personal struggle is not in finding the time to be quiet, but in simply letting the quiet BE quiet and accepting the fellowship with God and the self discovery therein.
To conclude, i would just say that if you're reading this, you obviously have a little time on your hands. why not let that time be used up by the one who created you in an authentic, 2-way conversation of love? and if you don't have the time right now, i'd seriously recomend finding that pause button in order to find the most fullfilling fellowship out there. more than family, more than friends. Find God.

The Dread

1 comment:

  1. Great stuff! I know I'm a little late in reading this blog, but I'm better late than never! I needed this tonight. :)